Even In Death
by Thessian Shadow
Summary: A short oneshot in which a griefstricken Doctor faces someone that might be closer than he thinks. Warning: Character Death! Refers to Potentially Problematic JD


_**Even in Death**_

_**A/N: **_I'm sticking with the Doctor/Janeway pairing. I don't know how that'll work out, but this has references from my other ST: Voyager story, Potentially Problematic. It's not essential that you read that, but it would clarify things. Anyway, enjoy.

_**Disclaimer: **_I own nothing!

_**Warning: **_Character Death!

Dim light from the buildings mirrored in the street. This image of a parallel universe was only marred by peoples' footprints as they struggled to move out of the gloomy weather. Usually San Francisco was bustling with excitement, had better weather, and wasn't nearly this dark. One man walked its streets with no desire to leave them that night.

The Voyager crew had finally arrived back in the Alpha Quadrant after finding a more stable wormhole that let out a year's worth of travel at warp nine from Earth. Several of the senior officers now had desk jobs or were captains themselves.

Tom Paris, who had been assigned to Voyager because of his experience (though short lived) with the Maquis, was asked to be captain of the starship Ares. His career had advanced since his days before Voyager.

Harry Kim was leading a research team on an abandoned planet near the edge of the neutral zone. His ship had been destroyed by rogue Cardassians, while attempting to negotiate between them and a group of Romulan refugees.

Seven of Nine was now chief research specialist working on integrating Borg technology into Starfleet's ships to make them more efficient. She had successfully removed her own implants, and was completely human. Her heart had gone out to the doctor upon realizing what all he was feeling.

One person didn't make it home. The one that was so hell-bent on bringing her crew home was to never see Earth again. Kathryn Janeway had been brave when she had accepted Chakotay's challenge. Upon his arrival with Seska back aboard Voyager in the Delta Quadrant, he had challenged her for her ship. Knowing her answer already, he had withdrawn his weapon of choice, a Kazon dagger. They had fought for a day and a half before he caught her in the heart.

_Flashback:_

"You'll pay for the way you robbed me of this ship, Kathryn!"

"In your dreams." Chakotay lunged wildly at her neck, missing spectacularly. His eyes sparked with an odd intensity that almost made her flinch. His anger was nothing to fool around with, but when it came to the protection of her ship and crew, she'd try it.

"Seska was right. You really were the worst thing I ever had. At least she could hold her own when I wanted it!"

"You're pathetic. Sex is the only thing you want out of a relationship, but it's not the only thing that a relationship consists of."

They circled each other as the bridge staff stared wildly at them. Chakotay was wearing a Kazon uniform, while Kathryn still wore her own. The tension and anger was so thick that it was tangible. Tuvok had been trained to defend his captain when the time arose, but she had strictly forbidden anyone from interfering in this, thus making him just watch with dark eyes. The fight moved on from the bridge into her ready room, where she initiated transport to a random part of the ship. Chakotay was soon to follow, but it bought her some time.

"Damn… there's got to be a way to subdue him besides making him collapse from exhaustion. That'll take…"

"In here."

She jerked her head to the right and found the Doctor poking his head out of Sickbay. "Doctor?"

"It's good that I directed your transport here. If you're looking to win but not looking to dishonor yourself, you might try this." He handed her a small vial of clear liquid. "It looks harmless, but to the desired target, it is fatal." She smirked and gave him a curt nod.

"Thank you, Doctor. I'll use this when the time's right."

Before she turned around, the gold-tipped dagger went straight through her back, and the tip was bloody as it exited the front of her jacket, at which point she slammed the glass vial into the floor right behind her. Chakotay began cursing as the vapors entered his body, slowly suffocating him. Kathryn fell forward into the doctor's arms, and through gasps of pain, she uttered words that would continue to haunt him.

"Now you can say our love will never die… Two flames burn immortal, although their fuels have long since been gone, the intensity that was there still remains."

"No… Kathryn!"

"Tom knows that I'll rely on him to get you all home…" He quickly moved to heal the wound Chakotay's blade had caused, but found an unknown poison coated all over the point. Instead, he gave her a powerful painkiller. "Kathryn…"

Fear was etched In every line of her face, but her eyes burned with a power that he had never seen. Her hand brushed against his face as his lips met hers, but after they parted, she moved no more.

_End Flashback_

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"I never told you that I loved you…" He now stood in a secluded area of a massive graveyard. Tears mingled with the still pouring rain, and his fists were clenched tightly as they rested atop the tombstone. Although her body was still floating about in space, the family had wanted another resting place on Earth.

Several members of Voyager's crew had come here to pay their respects, although a very long memorial service had been held on the bridge about a day after she had died. He had come here every day, despite the odd looks other people gave him. The fact was that he couldn't get over what she had said. _"Now you can say our love will never die… Two flames burn immortal, although their fuels have long since been gone, the intensity that was there still remains." _

He was too caught up in his thoughts that he did not see the other man approaching from the east.

"Troubled times, caught between confusion and pain… Where confusion is that you are trapped wondering if she ever knew how you truly felt, and pain being the cold reality that she is really gone and never got to see her ship dock safely…"

"Jean-Luc Picard… What brings you here?" His voice held no trace of emotion, causing the former captain to worry.

"I too have lost someone that meant the world to me. She never knew it, because I was too stupid. What with my duty as a captain, I thought that there was no room for a relationship. She died in an explosion at Starfleet Medical. I never told her how I felt either."

"I had several opportunities, but I never could decide when the time was right." The Doctor sank to his knees in the damp grass in front of the headstone, his hands shaking as they covered his face.

"In cases like that I believe they already know that we love them.. Silence can tell a person a lot of things, Doctor." He walked away from the now shaking man, and moved on to another tombstone. The doctor stood shakily, but didn't move, as he saw what looked to be a woman rising from the other side.

"He's right, Doctor. I always knew. I'll explain what I meant before…." She stepped around the stone and stood before him. "The admittance was never given, meaning a love started but doesn't have to end because of a useless boundary between life and death. Remember this, you'll never walk alone… Take care, my love…" As she reached to kiss him, she disappeared.

Three days later, crews had cleared Voyager for another mission, this time solely based on exploration, and the Doctor had been requested to go. He stood on the bridge awaiting orders from his commanding officer, and was surprised to see _her_ again. She rose from the captain's chair, and looked imploringly at him. "You just can't let go, can you?"

"I think it is you that can't let go."

"You remember when Chakotay and I took that shuttle down to the planet, and I was knocked unconscious?"

"Of course. That was when I almost lost you."

"Well, I experienced death to where I was a spirit, if you will. Nobody could see me, hear me, or feel my presence. I could either go and rest eternally, or remain with my crew and ship."

"And in reality, that is what you've chosen?"

"I have. I'd rather remain with my ship and crew than face a dark oblivion."

"You will be forced to watch all of us die. Our time Is finite, and nothing can change that… I don't want you to see it. If there's one thing I've realized over the past few days, it's that regardless if you're dead or not, you'll always be with me and this ship. You fought to keep it, and you died aboard it… Your spirit will remain, even if this part of you does not. I-"

"I'll be here until I deem it necessary to leave, doctor. Is that clear?"

He stared into her fiery eyes again, realizing that although she was gone, she was captain of this ship. A ghost of a smile flickered across his face as this crossed him, and the doors from the turbolift opened.

"Doctor, good to see you again." Tom Paris exited onto the bridge. His eyes focused on the command chair, and Kathryn moved away.

"I'll see you sooner than you think, Doctor…" She faded away again, and Tom sat down. "So, are you ready for a normal stint on a starship?"

"I suppose…"


End file.
